Shiz my grandma says
November 28, 2009
So everyone seems to have a person in their life that constantly produces gem quotes. For me, it’s my 87 year old grandma. After spending most of the week with her this week, I could write a book. Here are some of the winners.
(walking into a casino, hearing the slots) “It’s like music to my ears!”
“When I was younger, I could finish a case of beer!”- “Grandma, what do you consider a ‘case’?” -”Well… a 12 pack split between me and Al, he drank most of them.”
“Are you dating Sarah? If you are, you should wear your glasses on a date. Then you look more sophisticated.”
“A bearded man just walked in… is that Santa Claus?!?”
“I’m always hot, I’m a hottie!”
“The only good thing about the good ol days was 10 cent beer”
(In reference to me and my cousin in our pjs) “I told Ed there were two scantily clad girls in my room, he may stop by”
(points to the embroidered butterfly logo on the bottom of my tank top) “That’s sexy!!”
(I burp, but hold it in, Grandma stops her walker, and stares up at the ceiling confused) “Are people moving chairs around upstairs??”
“OH! I have a candy bar in my pocket!”
“I hope your mom didn’t get hiney. That’s what I call the H1N1!”
“I keep my booze in the bathroom.”
(Scoots her seat up in my car, squishing herself with the seatbelt) “AHH I can’t breathe!!”
She also asked me about 5 times if I was dating. I failed to mention match.com. I’ve taken a week off and nothing life changing has happened yet, still waiting for someone who doesn’t make me cringe! Ok I know, I’m going to hell for saying that
My Dad thinks he’s the funniest guy on earth, but he says some of the corniest stuff imaginable. It’s really unbelievable, the things that come out of this man’s mouth. But will I ever shut him up? Hellz no! The kooky, weird things about our families are the greatest things in the world!
This is spot on, Sarah. Two thumbs up.
haha thanks austin! gotta love family!